To Mr. Robin Williams

I won't pretend like I know you. I never knew your pain and the only window I had into your world was the roles you chose. I don't know if you would want to be remembered for you comedies or for your dramas. But even the funny ones had gravity to them.  And that's what I remember.

I have trouble hanging on to the jokes.

I don't know for sure but I feel like you understand that. I remember the impotent rage in Good Morning Vietnam. I remember the compassion in Good Will Hunting. And I remember the despair in What Dreams May Come.

Sometimes life sucks and there is nothing you can do about it - the forces are too big for one person. Sometimes it sucks and there is something you can - some tiny thing that can make it better like a hug. And sometimes the only thing you can do is sit in the despair with the one you love and pray to all the powers that be that it is enough.

I hope you had that.

I hope you had someone to sit with you when life wasn't funny anymore.

I hope at some point you felt the reckless abandon of a love that would follow you all the way to hell.